can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
