Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
