were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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