Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
