My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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