moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
