absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
