I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
