bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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