I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
