3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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