do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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