my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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