you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
