3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
