i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
