Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
