i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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