dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
