its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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