I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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