Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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