just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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