all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
