Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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