franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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