Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
