need another drink. this is the easiest way
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The best revenge is premature balding
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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