hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
