I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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