the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
