DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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