my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
