Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
