my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Who died my cat blue again?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
