Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My ATM looks so different sober.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
