Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
