Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
