jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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