Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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