The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
