hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
