It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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