im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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