You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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