Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
