What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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