at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
