Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
