Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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